Breaking the cycle of abuse
The easiest way to break the chain of abuse for your own family is to make the abuse that has happened to you known. Keeping it a secret is the easiest way for the abuse to continue. The abuser hopes and prays that the abuse is kept secret. The abuser needs to keep you in their control and fearful of anyone knowing about the abuse. Break the silence, tell the secret, don’t worry about the shame and seek help.
Breaking the silence will give you a sense of freedom. The stress of keeping silent is difficult enough without adding the actual effects of the abuse on top of the situation. Let a trusted friend or person with the ability to help you know of the abuse. Seek assistance from those who are in a position to help you. Let them know if you are in immediate danger, the abuse is in the past or the fears that the abuse you suffered will be taken out on your own family.
Also read: Dealing with a bully
You don’t have to worry anymore about letting the secret out. Today there are more resources made known to protect and assist in healing for those who have been abused. Years ago the stigma was a stumbling block for those seeking relief from the abuse, now, when you let someone in a position to assist you with the abuse know about the abuse, you are immediately given options to pursue for help. Don’t give the abuser the power over you to keep a secret, that secret.
Don’t worry about the shame you will feel if the secret is known. You are not responsible for any abuse that you have suffered. A person who was in a position of power took advantage of you. You are not responsible for any abuse you have suffered. If you were three years old and your father began sexually abusing you, how would you be responsible for those acts taken against you. If you were 6 months old and crying as a baby is expected to do and your parent or guardian began to shake you violently, how are you to blame. If your uncle had sexually molested you when your father and mother left you in his care, how are you to blame. The power is on the side of the abuser to stop the abuse before it happens. The abuser looks only at his desires and not about you. The abuser does not care for you, love you or look out for your well being. You need not worry about the shame. You are a victim. The abuser is the one who should feel shame.
Seeking help is very important for not only you but for your family. Look for qualified professionals to work with you through the whole process. Look for victim services professionals that can help you through the examinations, investigations, legal process and dealing with any physical and emotional issues that are remaining. Remember, keeping it a secret only puts the feelings deeper inside of you and makes you more susceptible to drug and alcohol abuse, nightmares and other physical ailments. It also put you at greater risk of victimizing your own family.
Help is out there and help is very much needed for you to live a full and productive life. Help is needed to break the cycle of abuse in your own family. Silence is never the answer. Bring it out in the light and feel the warmth of healing.